Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I'M BERTHA - BY FRAN LEWIS -

Welcome Author, Reviewer, and Blog Talk Radio Host, Fran Lewis 08/01/2011
8 Comments


I’m Bertha

The name is Bertha and I am a character in three books written by author, talk show host, interviewer and book reviewer Fran Lewis. All of the stories you read about me are true. You see, she wrote about her real life experiences growing up in the South Bronx and created me to share her hilarious stories. First and foremost you should know that I am a total klutz. But, not to worry there’s much more about me that you need to know. I am really smart and always get good grades in school. No, not just good grades: All A’s. My mom believes that everyone needs good grades in school to get anywhere in life and she felt that the only grades that are acceptable, at least for me, are A’s. Not that easy to live up to her expectations but I did manage to do it. She is really tough but she made me strong, smart and I have to love her for it.

My stories are funny. The first in My Name Is Bertha, my first appearance in a short story book, tells about my dancing lessons, ice-skating lessons and the first time I ever went bowling. Dancing lessons was not something I really ever wanted but my beautiful and talented sister, Tillie, (real sister- Marcia Joyce) loved to dance and sing. She could tap, do ballet and toe as well as any professional dancer or singer. She even starred in two broadways shows and I was the one who accompanied her on the piano. Oh, did I forget to tell you that I love playing the piano and the violin. Using my smarts and my sense of humor I even convinced the dancing instructor to let me play for some of the dancers and not dance in the entire recital. How, clever am I! Well, my ice-skating experience was met with much resistance too as I fell on the instructor three times in Rockefeller Center. Did I not tell you I am a klutz? I am also overweight which makes skating even harder. My sister is thin and can glide on the ice without any problems. I, on the other hand got a lot of practice falling and slipping and sliding. Now, when I think back it was hilarious.

Of course there is the time I really wanted to learn to bowl. But, being overweight and not realizing that the pants I was wearing would split as I bent over, air conditioning without the machine to blow the cold air, created another funny situation. My mom came prepared. She gave me her pink sweater to wrap around my you know what and told me I was good to go. Now, I never bowled before but I am great a punch ball and winding up my arm to punch. So, what do you think I did: I wound up the ball and threw it cross lane and the end result you will have to read for yourself. You don’t think I am going to give it all away without having you buy my book and read my funny stories.

Next, Fran Lewis wrote Bertha Speaks Out. When you read these stories you will really learn a lot more about my sister Tillie, my mom and me. But, for this book I wrote a poem:

Bertha is my character’s name

Hoping to get her some glory and fame

Won’t you take a chance and read about her

Bertha Speaks Out you might prefer

She is over weight and not so cute

She is smart and very astute